Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Being Small

A small handful of some gorgeous Merino locks (with not even a small bit of vm)

Everything here is small.  Small house, small children, small car, small space.  Small dyelots, small dyepot, small jars of dye.  Small batches of small locks drying on small drying racks.  Small strips of base fibers, separated into small portions by color and tucked into small boxes.

The entire shop, humans (and their big dreams) not included, fits in a small hall closet.* 

It makes sense that a shop, like a human, starts its journey at a size appropriate to beginnings.  If someone had given me hundreds of pounds of fiber, or something like an 8-burner dye stove (!!!), and said "here's your business", I don't know what I would've done.  I want to think I would've gleefully accepted the awesomeness of such things and run with them, but I think I would have been completely overwhelmed to a point where I wasn't able to move (literally and figuratively).

This year, I have felt my little shop growing.  It rolled over.  It's starting to crawl.  Sometimes, it's just kinda sitting there, making goofy faces at me and inviting me to play.  We won't talk about the times when it poops, save to say that everybody poops and a shop can be just as shitty as anything else.  It eats.  Oh, how it eats!  Time, mostly, but energy, too.  But, in a way that is very much like children, it gives so much more than it takes. 

I've learned about dye, fiber types, and how to process raw fleece, but I've also learned about me.  About my own heart, and how important it is to me to have art in the world.  About how I handle frustration, and fear, and jealousy.  About feelings of inadequacy, and how to heal them (give, then give more).  A shop, even a small one, is not for the faint of heart or weak of will.  As much as I would love my days to be all about the fluff and color, there are taxes to be paid and inventory to be counted.  There is always more to learn.

I'm not sure which is growing faster, the shop or the shopowner.  I'm trying to just breathe and enjoy being small.

* - I will take pics.  Someday.  Not today, as everything that should be neatly tucked in its home is all over the house in support of the frenzied creating going to prepare for Homespun Yarn Party.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, this is so timely for me. Thank you for sharing. I, too, am trying to "start" my "shop." The input money is holding me back from getting the equipment I feel I need to make the "big" jump. Offering more types of things, getting that first big order in at a wholesale place, etc. All expensive.
    Baby steps. Important. I tend to jump in, feet first, full speed ahead....
    You've pumped me up. Thank you. :-)